


I want to try loving you

by Morningstar96



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Andrea does not mess around, Andrea kisses Kara and leaves Kara internally screaming and facing her own feelings, F/F, Kara's a confused bisexual coming to terms with her feelings, Lena is jealous, Nia Nal is the best mentee, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23064547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morningstar96/pseuds/Morningstar96
Summary: Andrea corners Kara in her office and pulls her in for a passionate kiss that lasts far too long. Bewildered by the turn of events, Kara enters a sexuality crisis and is forced to come to terms with her own feelings. Meanwhile, Lena has something to say about the whole event...Supercorp endgame
Relationships: Kara Danvers/ Andrea Rojas, Karlena - Relationship, Supercorp - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 529





	I want to try loving you

**Author's Note:**

> Daydreamed this scene whilst on my walk this morning, and had to get the emotions out. How is it that I can write nearly 3000 words of fanfic in a day, but struggle to get the same in my original works? Heh. Hope you like it anyway!

Panic.

Panic, panic, panic.

When Kara had gone into work today, she hadn’t anticipated on _this_ happening.

 _This_ being alone in the head office with Andrea, asking her boss to go over the last paragraph with her because Kara still wasn’t quite satisfied with it, and for a few minutes they did just that, huddled close at the desk, their usual tension and mutual irritation dissipating as they focused on bringing that pesky paragraph up to scratch. And then Kara chanced to glance up, and found Andrea was even closer than she’d expected, her breath stuttering in her lungs when she saw how dark her eyes were. She heard Andrea’s heart speed up at that very moment, and then Andrea was leaning forward, and then they were kissing. Gentle at first, like Andrea was testing the waters and giving her a chance to pull out, but Kara couldn’t find it in herself to do that. Her lips were so soft, softer than any of the men she’d kissed, and her whole body began to warm over.

_This isn’t right, I shouldn’t be kissing my boss like this-_

But Andrea had started it, and Kara hadn’t been kissed for _so_ long, and the whole novelty of being kissed by another woman kept her rooted to the spot, allowing Andrea to lick at her lips. Kara opened her mouth in response, giving the tiniest irrepressible moan when Andrea licked into her mouth. She melted at that point, too far gone and too touch-starved to put an end to it, and _wow,_ she should really be kissing women more often. Alex was right. This… this was _something_. It felt just as good as kissing a guy, but somehow different- a little gentler and with extra curves.

 _Lena,_ her mind told her, unbidden, and Kara found herself deepening the kiss, blushing fiercely at the images of her former best friend that kept flooding her mind. Andrea sensed her change of pace and Kara had to put her hands on her boss’ hips just to keep them both stable from the new intensity of their pashing. She sort of lost track of time after that, completely engrossed in the new feel of soft warm curves under her hands and a soft warm scent and Andrea’s lips, and _Rao, I want Lena, Lena, Lena-_

At least twenty minutes must have passed in this fashion before Kara realised _Oh fuck I’m kissing another woman who is also my boss and I’m thinking about my estranged best friend while doing it,_ and she may have completely freaked out by running out of the room and hiding in her own office and sinking dramatically against the wall.

‘Rao help me,’ she kept muttering to herself, feeling the beginnings of a panic attack, and in the midst of that the most random memory came back to her- several years ago, early in her Supergirl career, she had been sitting just outside here in the bullpen and listening as Livewire took over all the media stations, including every T.V in CatCo. Everyone had heard Leslie challenge her sexuality, leaving Kara’s stomach roiling with shame and cold fear and humiliation.

_‘I mean, a skirt and tights? Puh-lease. Seems like overkill, especially since no one is trying to get in there. And who would that be? You know, who's hombre enough to puncture the Chastity Belt of Steel? Or is what's required a softer touch? I mean, she does kind of give off a Sapphic vibe, with that big ol' butch "S" chest plate. I mean, how would that even work with an alien? I mean, is everything the same down there, or are we talking tentacles?…’_

That same horrible feeling took over as Kara sat down and tried to control her breathing, her thoughts racing like sparks. She’d had a complicated relationship with men in general, preferring to stay friends with most of them- like Winn and Brainy and Barry Allen. But she’d had romances, too; she still wondered about how differently things could have gone with James, had genuinely enjoyed kissing him before they called it off and reverted to their friendship, and she’d been plenty physical with Mon-El until she grew weary of his childishness and disrespect. When he came back from the future, it was with a wife in tow and Kara had already moved on. But despite that, she _knew_ her attraction to men was true. So what the hell was going on with her?

‘Rao help me Rao help me…’ she whispered to herself in between breaths, and to her horror tears started falling down her cheeks. Unbidden, her confused thoughts led her to analyse everything she’d ever felt. She remembered Alex’s confusion and then joy as she came out and pursued her first romance with another woman, remembered blatantly saying that she’d date Lucy Lane without even thinking about her words, how describing Imra as a Greek goddess had been more wistful than a catty remark, remembered how strangely enraptured she’d been with Kate Kane and the tattoos littering her skin…

By the time someone knocked on her door, Kara had been holding off a panic attack and tears for about eight minutes. She shakily wiped her face, head and heart still muddled, and deliberated on whether to let anyone in. But before she could even take off her glasses to see who it was, Lena Luthor opened the door and let herself in.

‘Kara, what happened? Both Andrea _and_ Nia called me, though goodness knows why, and I know you’re not hurt’- she stopped abruptly at the sight of Kara making herself as small as possible on the ground, trying not to look as if she’d been crying. ‘Kara?’ she said uncertainly, her voice losing its previous clipped tones.

And now Kara was more miserable, because Lena was right here and she didn’t want her to think Kara was pulling this off in order to get close again, so she remained silent, still breathing too shallowly, still fighting an impending panic attack. But she couldn’t hold back a sob as she curled in on herself and put her head between her knees, and she heard Lena close the door behind her and step closer before hesitantly sitting beside her.

Lena carefully poked her shoulder. ‘Kara?’ she repeated. ‘I can’t be here all day.’

Finally, Kara raised her head because she just had to blurt it out. ‘Andrea kissed me!’

Lena blinked. ‘Sorry, _what?’_

‘She kissed me! And I kissed her back! For, like, twenty minutes!’

Lena was just gaping at her, mouth open and eyes wide. ‘Holy shit.’

She’d never heard Lena swear before, and it was just enough to bring Kara a little bit more back to earth. Kara tangled her hands in her hair. ‘I’ve- I’ve never kissed another woman before, Lena!’

‘And that warrants hiding in your office?’

‘…Yes?’

‘And you kissed for twenty minutes.’

Kara nodded, too stressed out to say anything else.

Lena, however, looked calm and composed. ‘Sit tight, Kara, I’ll sort this out.’

And then she left.

Lena burst into Andrea’s office, her composure almost immediately melting away. ‘Miss Rojas,’ she said through gritted teeth, ‘can we have a chat?’

Andrea looked up and offered a grin, steepling her hands over her desk. ‘Why yes, Miss Luthor, I believe we _do_ need to chat.’

Lena took the seat on the opposite side of the desk. It wasn’t so long ago that this had been _her_ office, that she had used to sit in the same seat Andrea was in now, and she made sure Andrea remembered that by continuing to exert her dominance. Back straight, jaw tight, gaze steely and relentless.

‘You cannot romantically pursue your employees, Andrea, especially not during work hours. You know that.’

Andrea leaned back in her chair. ‘Oh, is that what this is about?’

‘You’re one of the people who called me here, and I come to find Kara nearly having a panic attack in her office. What game are you playing?’

Andrea at least had the decency to look guilty at the mention of a panic attack. ‘I never said my intentions were romantic in nature. We were merely indulging in a physical urge.’

Lena was not impressed. ‘Using an employee for physical relief is not appropriate, either.’

‘Oh, I think you’d beg to differ if _you_ were the one kissing her,’ Andrea purred, lifting a knowing eyebrow.

‘You left her whimpering in her office!’

‘Yes, and I called you because _you_ are the one she should be kissing. So get back into her office and get a move on, otherwise I’ll be the one falling into her arms instead!’

Lena just shook her head, nonplussed. ‘Andrea, what on earth are you talking about? Kara and I no longer even friends, at least not yet. And neither are we, for that matter. That ship has long since sailed.’

Andrea sighed, rubbing her temple. ‘Just go talk with her, Lena.’ She regarded her with a determined gaze. ‘And mark my words, both Kara and I will earn your trust again. You’re too good a friend to lose without a fight.’

And with that, Lena just shook her head in disbelief and left the office.

Lena was held up by Nia Nal before she reached Kara’s office.

‘Is Kara alright in there?’ Nia asked, all concern and kindness. ‘She came rushing out of Miss Rojas’s office, so I called you, and then you went in and not five minutes later you were in Miss Rojas’ office! What’s going on?’

Lena considered her. ‘Why call me instead of just going to Kara herself?’ she said, bemused. She knew Kara and Nia were good friends, so she didn’t understand Nia’s hesitance. Also, Nia was already right here. Not that it had taken long to get to CatCo from L-Corp, but still.

‘I was about to go and check on her right now, but I figured she could use her best friend as well. Just… seems like one of those moments where you need your best friend, you know?’

‘Oh,’ said Lena, caught off guard. ‘But we’re not even best friends anymore. You know how bad our fight was.’

‘Yeah, but she doesn’t shut up about you. And when I called, you still came.’ She clapped Lena on the back, motioning her toward Kara’s office. ‘Go on. If you need back up, I’ll be there in a flash.’

Lena was left to enter Kara’s office alone again, and despite everything, despite the lies and betrayal and the pain, there was still something pitiable about the sight of Kara Danvers hugging her knees and trying not to cry (and failing). Seeing her as Kara Danvers and not Supergirl seemed to draw different gut instincts from Lena as well, as if she’d been craving to see her as just Kara, ace reporter. It made her think twice, made her want to figure this mysterious alien woman out and see if at least some of the goodness Lena had seen in her was real.

So she sat down next to her former best friend again. ‘Talk to me,’ she said quietly.

Kara sniffled and looked at her blearily, eyes reddened. Shame trickled in Lena. She couldn’t fake this, she couldn’t just abandon someone going through this kind of internal torment, so she stayed right there and waited expectantly. Damn her soft pathetic heart, but Kara was in pain and Lena just couldn’t bring herself to leave.

‘I, uhm- I’m going through a sexuality crisis. And I think it’s been a very long time coming,’ Kara explained, hiccupping miserably.

‘Hmm,’ Lena said in a non-committal manner.

‘I just’- Kara drew in a steadying breath- ‘I push my feelings down a lot, you know? So I’ve been able to ignore- things, feelings, urges- and I was doing it well.’

‘And then Andrea kissed you.’

‘And then Andrea kissed me,’ Kara agreed. ‘And it was great! And then everything came crashing down on me, and now I’m freaking out and I don’t know what to do.’ She kneaded her fingers into her thighs, squeezing tight as if she needed to feel the pressure to ground herself. More tears spilled down her face. ‘Alex was right, this hurts so much!’ Her face crinkled in a distraught expression that made Lena take Kara’s hand and grip it tightly. ‘I’ve always been the weird one, the alien refugee with no choice but to fit in, and- I’m just so, so tired of pushing everything down, of ignoring my own needs. Alex was nearly thirty before coming to terms with her own sexuality, partly because she was so focussed on protecting me! And now I _am_ thirty, and Rao- this just _hurts.’_ Kara shook herself, wiping her face again and giving a mirthless bark of laughter. ‘Look, uhm- I know we’re not on great terms. You don’t have to listen to me, I know you have lots of work to do’-

‘And I’m here,’ Lena said devoutly. She _had_ been working when she received the calls, but had packed up and gone to CatCo with barely a second thought because apparently she still can’t resist anything when Kara’s involved. ‘I’m here, and I know what Andrea’s like. She has a sixth sense for this sort of thing, and I’m sorry she took advantage of that. But at least it sounds as if you enjoyed it?’

Kara nodded blearily. ‘Yeah, uhm- like I said, it’s been a long time coming and Andrea was just the straw that broke my back. It’s brought up a lot of- I don’t know, internalised homophobia? Repressed emotions? That kind of thing? I’m bisexual, anyway.’ She loosed a breath that sounded like relief. ‘Wow, it feels good to admit that.’

Lena smiled wanly. ‘Yes, she’s quite good at doing that.’

They stayed in silence for a while, except for the occasional sniffle from Kara.

Eventually, Lena spoke again. ‘There’s something else going on.’

Kara hiccupped. ‘No, uh’-

‘Kara.’

Kara sighed. ‘Can I be really honest? Like, _too_ honest?’

‘I should hope you’re always honest with me from now on.’

‘Right. Uhm. When I was kissing Andrea, it felt amazing- but I just couldn’t stop thinking of you…’ Kara leaned her head against the wall, looking severely grieved. ‘I wanted to be kissing you instead!’

Her words hung in a thick silence after that.

‘Kara, I’-

‘I know, I know. If I ever had any chance with you, I’ve screwed it up now. I’m not expecting you to reciprocate or anything- and I only really acknowledged this less than an hour ago, so it’ll take a while to figure out what’s in my head- but I can’t just ignore that. I guess it explains why I can’t bear the thought of losing you. I’ve been in love with you this whole time, and didn’t even realise it.’

Lena’s mouth was hanging open, her heart pounding wildly, and she knew Kara could hear it from her quizzical expression. ‘Kara,’ she said gently, finally moving so that she was in front of the hero, who had hidden her face again. Lena reached forward and stroked back a few strands of hair, making Kara look up in confusion. She looked so tired, so emotionally drained, that Lena’s foolish heart urged her to keep going. ‘Look at me.’

Kara’s overly-shiny blue eyes met hers. ‘I’m so sorry, I should- should I just go?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not kicking you out of your own office.’

‘But I’m being weird and awkward.’

‘And I’m still here.’ Lena’s hand drifted down to cup Kara’s cheeks; Kara sighed and leaned into the contact.

‘What are you even doing?’

‘Well, Andrea told me to come here and stake my claim before she does.’

Kara just blinked at her confusedly. ‘Lena?’

And suddenly Lena couldn’t hold back anymore. ‘I’m in love with you too, Kara! Why else do you think I’ve reacted so badly to your lies? I killed my own brother for you, for heaven’s sake! I was an absolute mess, we both were!’ Lena knew her expression was pained, but it seemed to shake Kara out of her daze. ‘I tried hating you, I tried cutting you out, but- Luthors take risks, too. And I want to try. I want to try loving you.’

Kara was silent for a moment, gaping like a stunned fish. And then her strong hands were on Lena’s shoulders, tension crackling between them, and Lena found herself surging forward.

Kara’s lips were softer, fuller than she’d expected. She melted almost immediately into Kara’s lap, encouraged by the hands moving to her waist, and the next few moments were a blur of heat and bumping noses and bodies pressed so close together, and Kara laved tentatively at her lips-

Heatedly French-kissing your newly re-appointed best friend- or girlfriend, or whatever the hell Kara was prepared to be- was a next-level experience that none of Lena’s A.Is could ever hope to achieve.

The door opened before either of them could react.

‘Hey Kara, is every- Oh, okay, I’m gonna- I’m just gonna leave,’ said Nia, blushing furiously and shutting the door again.

A moment of shock with shared breath and bodies that had barely had a chance to pull apart, and then they started laugh-crying, Kara tucking her head against Lena’s neck and groaning in embarrassment.

‘Rao, explaining this to Alex is going to be interesting…’

‘Breath, darling. We’ll focus on us first.’

Kara pressed a kiss to the sensitive tendon at the side of her neck, making Lena stifle a gasp. ‘I love you. I always have.’

‘I love you too, Kara. You’ve always been my hero, even when I was at my lowest.’


End file.
